I’m sorry to disappoint you all, but this was, quite honestly one of the weirdest things I’ve experienced in my life. Lex mentioned doing this to another of his subjects months ago in passing, testing the water I think, and I wasn’t keen on it then. I’ve been digging around to think of what exactly happened, (for the purposes of the blogging, of course *whistles innocently*) and as far as I can remember, he tried giving the suggestion to Lizbot, but it didn’t stick, or when I was blank, and it didn’t quite stick. One of them, but I remember saying that I had my doubts whether it would work, since it’s no simple feat to shove your awareness in another part of your body.
But he pressed the subject a bit more, and reluctantly, I caved, thinking I might as well give it a go.
Now, I’m writing this a while after it happened, so I can remember the feelings better than the actual events in order (I’m a feeling-orientated person, you see). As far as I can remember, Lex told me that Briony would inhabit my right breast and that she would be able to speak from it. I would hear it, but hear it coming from the breast, rather than out of my mouth.
Now, I don’t know about everyone else, but when my right breast starts shouting “Hi Master!” gleefully from out of nowhere, it’s an understatement to say I was a tad worried. I was with Lex though, so I knew he’d have had something to do with it, and whilst I was a little frightened, I drew some protection knowing he was there. That’s probably the only reason I let it continue.
The moment I heard that voice, my hand leapt to cover it (well, where –I- thought it was coming from anyway) and demanded that he change me back, in my usual bratty style. I think I do that whole shocked and demanding phase more out of habit now, since most of the suggestions Lex makes, he knows I’m really buying myself a few minutes to get my head around it, and that I want him to continue, or see where it’ll lead. This one was –kind- of similar, but I needed a little longer to adjust.
You see, I’ve only ever ‘seen’ Briony once before. Last summer, when our conversations were entirely through MSN and webcams, Lex pulled up a chair beside him in his room and told me that when I woke, Briony would be sitting on that chair. I was typing for both me and Briony (it’s a good job I can type quickly, otherwise the conversation would have been rather quiet) and I would be able to see anything Briony was doing. So I watched as she fawned over Lex, jumped up on the bed behind him, pulling tongues in my direction, displaying how ‘all good girls should behave’.
I’ll stop there before I hurl.
But to hear Briony’s voice, to suddenly realise that there’s a voice coming from a part of my body other than my mouth, and then to ponder over the fact that it will have been coming from my mouth without me realising was rather scary. Lex and I joke about schizophrenia sometimes, but I don’t know… that can’t be that far off it.
He then made me switch places with her. This took a lot more imagining – and to be honest, if he’d have thought about it, should have given me some kind of induction beforehand, since trying to shove my entire awareness in my chest is nothing simple. All my thoughts placed in there, my feelings connected to the reduced amount of nerve endings in that one space, my actions restricted – and above all, giving Briony control over the rest of my body, whilst I could only watch. We’ve done that before, and that’s not been as weird as this was.
I couldn’t quite pull this one off, since in my mind, I’ve prior conditioning to know what happens when Briony comes out, or when she’s not, or when I’m blank, or even when I’m bodylocked and she can move me. But this was something different, this was something I’d not experienced before, and I don’t think either of us could have foreseen that it wouldn’t just be something simple. I kind of hopped between my mind-sets for Briony and me, but it wasn’t quite what Lex was asking for. I just couldn’t bring myself to accomplish it whole-heartedly – possibly because I didn’t like the suggestion.
So there we have it, not everything works – and I don’t know many people that –every- suggestion will work for all the time. Just one of those things, you find out what works and what doesn’t, and build on it.