Wednesday, 6 February 2008
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
A few of you have mentioned the fact you’d like to hear some of –my- accounts for these experiences Lex keeps jotting down. And since I’m not one to disappoint the readers…I’m sure I can cook something up for you all.
Now, the first thing that comes into my head when asked “So what does it feel like, Liz?” is along the lines of ‘Well, how should I know? My brains switched off! Ask Lex.’ Which although is what I feel I should say, isn’t necessarily true. There are a few people that have total hypnotic amnesia after being under, however I’m not quite at that stage yet. There’s usually some part of me (on some conscious level) that sticks around. I’ve been working towards this result, and I’m pleased to say I am getting better, but perfection isn’t obtained without practice, I guess.
I’ve given earlier accounts of my kitten and puppy experiences, so I thought I’d go into what I feel when I’m in ‘Slavegirl’ mode, and I’ll also give mention to some of the happenings of last Saturday’s shoot.
If I’m honest, ‘Slavegirl’ has been one of the biggest eye-openers for me. I’ve mentioned before that on some level I need to be reassured that hypnosis is working for me, and this has got to be one of the biggest reminders. Slavegirl is a created persona that focuses largely on submission and obedience, and how much I remember whilst I am in Slavegirl mode seems to vary. There’s times when I’ll remember very little (one time in particular occurred late one night… and I had no idea what I’d done until Lex ‘thanked’ me the following morning!) But there are also times when I can remember exactly what I’ve done, just at the time it seemed so natural to do whatever Lex said. I suppose the end result is the same…
As I was saying, Slavegirl has done things that I would have been far too embarrassed or simply wouldn’t have considered doing before. I don’t mind as much about what I’d naturally think, I just focus on what Lex has said to me, and following that (sometimes raising the ante a little too ;) I’ve gotten one of those secret, inner smiles whilst I’m typing this, one that’s just visible in the corners of the mouth, and noticeable only by those that know you best.
I guess I don’t mind my Slavegirl persona as much as I protest when I’m being bratty.
- I’ve just had a side thought. The obedience (often realised) I have during the trigger’s use is not uncommon to a certain state of extreme arousal ;) Lex has left me teetering on the brink of an orgasm several times in the past, and has noticed just how agreeable I get. I’ve got to admit, it’s –extremely- hot to think that Lex can watch me try and climax alone to no avail, and tease me until I’m begging for it...Mmmmm.
Wait a second…What has he done to me!?
Lex has said a little bit about Saturday’s shoot in his MCForum post, but I thought I’d expand. We did hit a few snags in the beginning; the model wasn’t picked up at the correct time, the sets were freezing by the time we got into the studio (I’d like to point out here that whilst I’m famous for being perpetually cold, even Lex had his jacket on a number of times during the day!)
I’ve began making a practice of speaking to the models before we shoot, just ‘girl talk’, but I know it helps. Heck, I’d be a little nervous if my usual modelling work had such an added twist. Rachel was no different. She was really apprehensive and approached it originally with a ‘I’m getting paid, so just get through it’ attitude, and hadn’t really given it much thought. Though when I actually began to chat to her about it, her fears that she would be completely ‘zapped’ and helplessly controlled within minutes came to the surface, along with the stereotypical image that if Lex clicked his fingers hypnosis would just hit her. I tried explaining some of my experiences to her, and I hoped at least -some- of what I'd said did help to reassure her... before Lex managed to disprove pretty much -everything- I'd just said by lumbering into the room and zapping me with my freeze trigger in front of the poor girl.
A little nervous, though intrigued, she went in and we began. We tried an induction off cam, though she was noticeably shaking (possibly because of nerves, though I'm fairly sure she was just cold) and I was sitting there knowing what she’d be going through, knowing that there’d be little or no chance it would work effectively whilst she was cold. We brought the heaters in soon enough though, and she began to go under. The rest of the shoot went smoother I’m glad to say, and once we’d begun with some modelling suggestions, she was soon at ease with the process. She responded really well to some suggestions, though admittedly not to others, I guess that’s the unpredictability with this kind of thing.
You’ll be pleased to note that I can’t be heard in this video, if any of you have seen Lex’s last shoot with Emily, you’ll know what I mean. Yes, I was kept occupied by Rachel’s manager actually, who thought it ‘educational’ to shove a camera or video recorder into my unwilling hands every few minutes. Though I managed to evade him as Rachel’s extensive induction had begun to get to me after a little while – After that I thought it best to hand the camera back over.
Towards the end of the shoot, Lex was giving Rachel a post-hypnotic orgasm suggestion, (a little too alike to mine for comfort) and as it began to affect me as well, he was forced to turn mine off (after he’d had a little display, of course). Though once the shoot had ended, Rachel and her manager were rather curious to see the effects that a simple ‘counting game’ could have on me. I swear, I’m always the victim! *sniffle…sob* And before long, Lex was demonstrating my triggers for them. Blanking me, freezing me, counting (I made sure only to three) and bringing out my Puppy persona. They were suitably impressed (understandable, as it’s not everyday a photographer and model has a shoot like that) and looked forward to the next time they worked with us.
It was a really good day, and Rachel was such a lovely, pretty girl. The snags in the beginning were compensated for by the awesome pictures that were taken (requiring little or no photoshopping at all – as much as Lex would like to tamper for perfection).
Friday, 1 February 2008
I was looking at several hypnotists earlier today (*cough* working hard! Honest!)such as Milton H. Erickson and Richard Bandler. Generally, I’ve made a practice of –not- looking around or going into detail about the workings of my conscious and subconscious states, as I thought that by establishing some definite concepts in my mind, I’d be restricting my hypnotic capabilities or something.
I’ve always believed (with what little experience with hypnosis I’ve acquired so far) that the subject is largely the one in control (sorry to burst your bubbles, Lex and Co.). The subject is the one that establishes the mind-set that he or she enters during trance, refuse suggestions that they don’t wish to continue with, and take the hypnotic instructions they’re given and interpret them in their own way, creating a variety of results. An example of this would be comparing Yin (a friend of mine who has her own hypnoblog) and myself, as we both have similar programming. I, as I’ve mentioned before have a kitten persona that I adopt when Lex brings it out during trance, or through my obey trigger. Yin has a hypnotic cat collar that she can wear and adopt her persona that way. As her blog name suggests, she’s –very- fond of cats, whereas I’m more of a dog person =P
Now when Yin first told me of her cat collar, I was rather curious to see how a seasoned cat fanatic would behave whilst in her kitten-state (and also, because I’ve never really seen myself back as a kitten….could I have been subconsciously been seeking tips?) Anyway, whilst she behaved as expected (rubbing up against things, licking her paws and curling up on the bed) what I found interesting was that she was able to respond to what I was typing in perfect English with little trouble. Now, I’ve mentioned being a kitten in a previous post, but I don’t think I’ve ever spoken aloud as a cat (ignoring Lex’s last post in order for me to prove my point!) One of the things that’s always interested me is the way that one subject interprets a suggestion can be different to how another interprets it.
Grey, Lex and I were having a conversation the other day about Pet and Briony, and Linda and Eve (his sub, Cirith’s submissive side and subconscious) as I tended to not understand ‘Eve’ and couldn’t quite get my head around her. I don’t think I actually cleared that up, but that could be because when I didn’t understand it, I just glossed over it in conversation (possibly linked back to my unwillingness to look at things too closely as I mentioned earlier). But because I –believe- that if I put Pet and Briony into ordered little sections in my mind, establishing exactly what I think they are, it’ll restrict what they can do, that’s what I think will happen. If I were to say that Pet wasn’t my main subconscious, and that there was another level deeper than her, before long I’d find myself searching for someone else to fill that gap I’d created. That’s why I like having some uncertainty regarding their existence, by purposefully closing my ears to explanations and such, in my mind I’m saving myself later hassle and altered perceptions. I like the way things are with Pet (and dare I say it) Briony, and the pictures I’ve built of them so far, and understand that they all fulfil their own role. I guess it’s true, ignorance really -is- bliss.