Well, a busy weekend to say the least. I think I monopolised most of Lex’s week actually (although I’m rather sceptical as to just where my new-found addiction has come from ;)
I would have blogged sooner, but I’ve been trying to recall as much as possible before I post about it. I think I’ve got it all, though Lex and Dr Lev tell me otherwise.
Right, I’d best back-track. According to Lex, on Wednesday (whilst in trance) I announced that I wanted to ‘see if Lev was online’ – which I assure you was for friendly banter…Honest! Actually, come to think of it, I ended up chatting/camming to a few of Lex’s hypno-pals this weekend too... Anyway, Lex had decided to give Dr Lev control of me (instead of Lev doing the suggesting, and watching as Lex had his fun). I was told I’d respond to his commands as if he was Lex himself, and I don’t think Lev quite knew where to begin…Too many things rushing through his mind, I wonder? ;)
To be fair, he didn’t go over the top with it, since I think he knows there’s a limit to my acceptance of commands given to me. I read it described somewhere as a ‘mental gag reflex’ and I think that’s the best term to describe it. Even if I’m entranced and told to be completely obedient, alright it’s a little more difficult, since my guard’s down, but I can still snap myself out of a trance before I do something I’d rather I didn’t. I think that ‘safety net’ is always a sound reassurance for subs, the fact that you’ll go as deep and be as responsive as –you- want to go. You can be influenced, entranced, or have your opinions altered, but deep beneath all the mental trickery you’re still you.
Dr Lev had me posing for him; both clothed and undressed (gah! I’ll blame it on being a long day, but I thought I could recall a lot of what he did with me, but as I’m trying to actually type it, it seems to be just out of my grasp…Grrr) and my puppy trigger came out to play too. Jumping and rolling along the bed and floor, and begging for the camera with my big ol’ brown puppy dog eyes ;) After a little while though, Lex took the control back, since I think he was feeling a little left-out…I’m just too popular for my own good sometimes :P
But he had his own fun a little later on that evening, which I didn’t even think to recall until he mentioned it yesterday in conversation. Then of course my mind went into a flurry, demanding to know what the hell he was talking about and why I didn’t remember this sooner. I do –so- hate that smug grin he gets when he knows he’s won.
I’ll have to find a way of addressing the balance sometime... ;)
For newer readers to the blog, I’m not your standard submissive. I'm not one to be found kissing ass and sitting meekly in the corner with all the "Well, if you say so"s and "Whatever you say"s. I’m very headstrong and brattish, and I love the satisfaction of winning a game or an argument (that’s why I’m a Law student, I guess :P). So, why am I a subject rather than a dominant character? The answer’s quite simple. Since I’m naturally so dominant in my every-day life, letting the control slip a little is a very different experience to what I’m used to, and that’s its appeal. I love the thought of being overpowered, either mentally or physically, as I slip helplessly before a more dominant male. However, there’s limits to this. Whilst I love the thought of playing the ‘helpless heroine’, the experience is like walking on eggshells (though Lex has managed to tread this extremely well so far).
I enjoy the sensation, but it’s mainly due to the trust I have with Lex. I know that he won’t take it too far, if I’m put in a situation where I’m tied down for example, I know that he’ll only go as far as I wish the experience to go. I think that in itself is why I love slipping for Lex. Lately, he’s not even had to go through a long-winded process of "Sleep Liz"s and build the programming into me that way, I’ve noticed I respond just as well (though admittedly I don’t fall as deeply) when he puts the programming into normal conversation, (though he’ll protest it’s down to his ‘sexy hypno voice’ ;) which is great for me to see that I’ve progressed since he first began trancing me. I like having bench-marks like that, to reassure me that the hypnosis really is working on me.
But if any of you have ideas, questions, comments or things you’d like to see us try or blog about, drop me or Lex an e-mail or comment on the blog. I’m always willing to listen (though dependant on how bratty I am will affect whether I’ll respond in the way Lex wants…Shame isn’t it? ;)